BA found this last night and sent it to everyone he knows on myspace. His complaint? (How could you complain?!) He's jealous that this guy dances better than him. Just when he thought he was the only big guy who shakes his booty.
Funny! Wheeeeee!
Labels: Bored, boyfriend = ass
Last weekend I was in charge of organizing my branch's office party. We have a party at the end of each Tax season just to celebrate being alive. Usually by "office party" our branch means lunch at O'Charley's. The waitstaff ususally hate us and I try to tip outrageously to make up for my coworker's poor behavior. Luckily, this year, my branch manager wanted to try something different. We were going to have a Barbeque at a coworker's lake house. Now, when someone says "Lake House" down here in the dirty dirty, I think "Trailer + Mud."
Labels: boyfriend = ass, Parties, Work, Yay Images
Weekend-before-last was the father of my boyfriend BA's birthday. Because his parents still presumably like each other and still go out of their house occasionally to entertain themselves--BA's M&D and a handful of aunts and uncles wanted to go to Hogan's bar. At the bar they all get ridiculously drunk and shake their asses like high-schoolers. For those not in Black Betty’s Bham, Hogan’s is where the 35+ set goes to get their sexy on. (No, I am not yet in this age group, thankyouverymuch. I’ve got SEVERAL years.) The house band is pretty good and plays late 80’s music. Did I mention one of BA's uncles is the drummer? Anyways, the situation itself is just amusing to me. Recently, the band added added Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” to their set. This song is followed by the 80’s homage to masturbation: “Strokin” and a Prince song, “Pussy Control.” These songs are sung by 40-to-50-year-old adult men with grey hair and throwback sideburns. Oh! And "You Can Leave Your Hat On."
Seeing BA’s aunt and uncle shake it on the dance floor kind of made my head spin. So I started drinking.
Now, my judgment of a bar is influenced by the following three mas importante questions:
1. Is the booze free?
This happens at the Karaoke bar that BA and I frequent. Drinks can be terrible if booze = free and I get to see Bry’s below-the-belt-tattoo!
2. If the booze is not free, is someone else paying for it?
This happened at Hogan’s where I was ordering jager-bombs on BA’s aunt’s tab. They were terrible because they served you a shot of jager that had been already mixed into some red bull. There was no separate splash and slurp as one expects with a jager bomb. Ideally, the reason you drink jager bombs because you like neither the taste of the jager nor the red bull. The act of combining them TOGETHER in a hurry is what makes it palatable and repeatable (and effective).
3. Can they make a Vodka Collins?
Yes, I’m under 30. Yes, I drink old school bar drinks. If your average bartender here in Nowhereville does not how to make a plain, simple bar drink and can only make things with stupid fruity names like "Absolut Heartache" or "Sex With A Porcupine" or whatever the next girly drink is then, well, they suck. I may be female, but I do not require my alcohol to come with accessories like pineapple or little umbrellas. I like my whiskey hard and straight up, like I like my men.
A Vodka Collins has three ingredients: Simple syrup. Vodka. Sours Mix. Perfecto. That’s it. Don’t add Grenadine to it. Making it pink doesn't make it more palatable, Bry. No, I do not need a cherry. Besides, I doubt the cherries are there on girly drinks for the girls, anyways. I think they're there for you guys who like watching us put things between our lips.
Hogan’s can make a Vodka Collins. So I drank a couple of them. Then, I decided to start getting serious. I ordered a Dirty Martini and started chasing it with the Vodka Collins. Yes, you read correctly, I was chasing stronger drink with less stronger drink. This is par the course for me.
graphically. (We have some wild ass parties).Labels: Booze, boyfriend = ass, General Wildness
