Well, my husband and I have decided that we're going to hold off on playing WoW for a while. We had a disasterous patch and a disasterous set of personal/relational problems that surfaced shortly thereafter.

The fault of this lies squarely on my own shoulders. In truth, I had been becoming too friendly with another guild member in a manner that was threatening to my marriage. This guild member and I exchanged emails and pictures and several explicit phone calls. I am humiliated and ashamed of myself. I am even more disturbed by my lack of concern of my husband's feelings. That's the part that I guess I will write about later-- how I feel like I am a sociopath, how I am no longer intuitively in touch with other's feelings (and not just anyone's feelings, how I had lost touch with my own husband's feelings), how I have lost my beowulfian peaceweaving ability. The Empathy which I claim to posess seems to be subdued and ignored.

I have explanations and rationalizations for my behavior. My account, a veritable recitation of the events is unforgivable and will not be written about here now.

So we return together to both focus on our relationship-- to figure out why we've persisted these six years (and less than one, of marriage)-- and maybe we can play again.

I won't act like I don't miss the time sink and the coping mechanism that WoW provided. My husband is worth it.

Labels: WoW

Posted by Lux on 27 October 2008 at 11:13 PM | Permalink